Wednesday 30 July 2008

Allinson: nothing but flour, yeast and drivel

Allied Bakeries have announced a major recall of Allinson bread after fears that certain loaves were contaminated with hate and despair. "While Wholemeal Batch's most important ingredient is our family's century-old baking passion, the factory environment may also contain traces of horror, anger and stinging regret," explained a spokesperson. "Customers experiencing unwanted alienation or gentle waves of ennui should return the product to their supermarket and will receive a full refund."
Digg this

3 comments:

  1. Am I the only one who saw the first line "specialists in brown since 1892" and wondered why the police had been letting them get away with selling heroin for so long?

    p.s. there's a sign in the window of a newsagents on Kings Heath High Street which just says "western people on sale here" I'd send you a photo but the bus only gets stuck in traffic there during term-time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "the factory environment may also contain traces of horror, anger and stinging regret..."

    Might I point out that the same comment could be made about loaves baked in some home environments - with a few death threats thrown in, should there be mardy toddlers about the place who have just learned how to yell, "No!" and "I'll kill you!".

    ReplyDelete